Healing Your Inner Child: A Personal Journey and Ritual for Reconnection
We all carry the echoes of childhood within us. Sometimes, the memories are as clear as day, while other times, they feel as though they’re nowhere to be found. It’s the echoes buried deep within our subconscious that begin to creep forward once our body, mind, and spirit are ready to handle the messages we’ve kept hidden for so long.
The concept of the inner child first appeared in the work of Carl Jung (1875–1961), who explored the idea of a “child archetype” as part of his theory of the collective unconscious. Later, psychologists like Alice Miller and John Bradshaw brought this idea into modern psychology, deepening our understanding of its significance.
The inner child plays a significant role in shaping our adult lives. It carries many of our unmet needs and unresolved emotions, often tucked away deep in the subconscious mind. This is especially true for those who’ve experienced neglect, abuse, or emotional abandonment. The inner child may show up in moments of conflict or vulnerability, particularly when our needs aren’t being met in adult relationships. For many, these childhood wounds cast a long shadow—one that we may fear facing as we move into adulthood.
As adults, the inner child can either hinder or heal our lives, depending on how we relate to it. By addressing its needs and offering care, we can release limiting patterns, fostering personal growth and emotional well-being. After all, being in relationship means allowing those vulnerabilities to arise and be seen.
A Personal Journey of Healing the Inner Child
As a child, I experienced recurring “dreams” that always took place in my childhood room, with someone crawling at the foot of my bed under the covers. These dreams were vivid, yet something about them felt different, like they were more than just dreams—they felt like memories or fragments of something hidden. At that time, I didn’t have the tools to understand what these dreams meant, so I blocked them out. I told myself it was just a monster in my room, something I could easily dismiss. But even as an adult, when I thought back to those moments, I couldn’t remember anything beyond the crawling figure. It was like a wall was there in my memory, blocking me from seeing anything further. My mind shut out what it couldn’t handle, leaving me with nothing but a shadow of a memory.
It wasn’t until years later, as I started exploring trauma, that I realized these “dreams” were connected to something much deeper—something I had long repressed. This was a turning point in my healing, understanding that this part of my childhood had been pushed into the depths of my subconscious to protect me from the overwhelming pain.
A few years ago, I read The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk, a book that explores how trauma is stored in the body and mind. While reading, I had a physical reaction I couldn’t quite understand. My body trembled, and I felt a visceral sense of something rising from deep within me, but I couldn’t name it. It was a haunting sensation, like a memory I wasn’t ready to face was just beneath the surface, trying to break through.
I knew I had to stop reading the book for a while because the emotional and physical weight of the experience was too much. After a two-week break, I returned to it, only to be hit by a sudden realization. As I read, I began to remember the suppressed pain of the constant sexual trauma I had endured as a child—pain I had buried so deeply that it had been hidden in my unconscious mind for years. I couldn’t understand where this feeling was coming from, but it lingered, like a shadow that couldn’t be ignored any longer.
Several months after finishing the book, I attended a restorative yoga class—an experience that would forever change my understanding of my body and my trauma. Restorative yoga involves holding postures for extended periods, using props to deeply relax the parasympathetic nervous system. I was lying in a supported mountain brook pose, my heart wide open, when something extraordinary happened. The yoga teacher’s words—"Your body doesn’t lie"—struck me like a bolt of lightning. As soon as those words landed, a flood of memories rushed through me.
In an instant, I recalled being sexually assaulted by someone very close to me—someone I saw regularly. The feeling was overwhelming. In my mind’s eye, I could almost feel a sword being pulled from my back, a release that was both excruciating and liberating. I sobbed uncontrollably, my body trembling with a mixture of relief and the weight of years of repressed trauma. It was as if my body was finally telling the truth that my mind had kept hidden for so long.
This flood of memories marked the beginning of a long journey of self-discovery and healing. As I began to process the trauma from my childhood, I realized how it had shaped so many aspects of my adult life, especially my relationships. I found myself trapped in cycles of people-pleasing, seeking validation from others because my inner child’s unmet needs had never been addressed. I attracted partners who were emotionally unavailable, repeating the patterns of neglect and abandonment I had experienced in my early years.
It became clear to me that the choices I made—often unconsciously—were deeply rooted in these unresolved childhood wounds. I sought out relationships that mirrored the dysfunction I had known, hoping to fill the void but only digging the hole deeper. This realization was painful, but it also marked the beginning of the process of breaking free from these patterns. Healing the inner child meant recognizing the broken pieces and slowly, gently, beginning to mend them.
Reflecting on this journey, I can see how far I’ve come and how far I still have to go. By confronting my inner child and the memories I had long buried, I’ve begun to reclaim my life. I’ve learned to listen to my body, to trust the wisdom it holds, and to recognize the patterns that no longer serve me. Healing is not linear, but each step forward brings me closer to freedom—freedom from the past and from the old stories that once defined me. It’s not easy, but it’s necessary, and it’s worth it.
A Ritual of Release and Reconnection
As I began to confront the buried wounds of my childhood, I realized that healing my inner child required more than just facing painful memories—it involved creating a safe space to nurture and release these emotions. This is where the concept of an altar came into play for me. An altar is a sacred space, a physical manifestation of our intention to honor and connect with a part of ourselves that needs love and healing. It became a way for me to not only acknowledge the trauma I had lived through but to begin offering the compassion and care that my inner child had always longed for.
Creating your own healing altar is a powerful tool in this process. It’s a space where you can hold space for your inner child—acknowledging their pain, offering love, and beginning the healing journey. Here’s how you can set up your own healing altar and incorporate it into your inner child work.
Creating Your Healing Altar
The process of creating an altar is simple yet deeply meaningful. The space itself becomes a reflection of your inner world, a place to connect with your past, your healing, and your growth. Here’s how to get started:
Choose a Location - Find a quiet, peaceful space in your home where you won’t be disturbed. This should be a place that feels sacred to you—a space that allows you to feel grounded and connected.
Gather Items - Start by collecting meaningful objects. These are things that symbolize your inner child’s essence or represent the healing journey you are embarking on:
A Picture of Yourself as a Child: This will be the centerpiece of your altar. It serves as a powerful reminder of who you were and who you are healing. Choose a photograph at age 5 and up.
Symbolic Objects: You can include crystals, flowers, candles, incense—anything that resonates with you and the healing process.
Representations of Your Inner Child: Drawings, poems, or affirmations you’ve created can serve as a tangible representation of your inner child’s voice.
Decorate Your Altar - Arrange the items in a way that feels meaningful to you. I like to use the elements to support my altar, providing a candle for fire, a glass of water, incense to represent air and ether, a plant or even the ashes of loved ones you want to protect you. The way you place each object should feel aligned with your intention to heal and nurture.
The Healing Ritual: A Step-by-Step Guide
Now that your altar is set, it’s time to begin the ritual itself. This process will allow you to connect with your inner child and offer the love and care that may have been missing in your childhood. Here’s a step-by-step guide to performing the ritual:
Step 1: Centering and Grounding
Before you begin, take a moment to center yourself. Sit quietly and take a few deep breaths, grounding yourself into the present moment. Imagine your roots extending deep into the earth, anchoring you in safety and support.
Step 2: Connection
Look at the picture of your child on the altar. Allow yourself to feel the emotions that arise as you gaze at this younger version of yourself. This is a moment of reconnection, a time to remember and honor that part of you.
Speak to Your Inner Child: Use loving, compassionate words. Acknowledge their pain, express your love, and offer comfort.
Listen to Your Inner Child: Pay attention to any feelings, thoughts, or memories that surface. Your inner child may have things they want to share with you.
Step 3: Forgiveness
This step involves the release of past hurts, both toward yourself and others. Healing requires forgiveness, not as a way to excuse past actions, but as a way to free yourself from the weight of resentment.
Forgive Yourself and Others: Release any lingering guilt or anger. You were doing the best you could with the resources you had at the time.
Offer Self-Compassion: Be gentle with yourself, knowing that healing is a journey, and that you are worthy of the love you’ve always needed.
Ho’Oponopono Prayer: Invite in this prayer to release past pain and bring in forgiveness to yourself and others.
Recite these words over and over: I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you.
Imagine the one you need to forgive in front of you as a spiritual and energetic forgiveness, especially if that person no longer is a part of your life.
Step 4: Healing and Integration
Imagine yourself as a loving, nurturing parent to your inner child. Visualize yourself holding them, comforting them, and sending them love and light. This is where the deep healing and gratitude for who you are today begins.
Send Love, Light, and Healing Energy: See this energy flowing from your heart into the heart of your inner child, helping to heal wounds and soothe past pain.
Gratitude: At the end of the ritual, express gratitude for the lessons your inner child has taught you. Acknowledge the strength and resilience you’ve developed, and thank your inner child for their courage.
Gratitude for Lessons and Growth: Recognize how far you’ve come and how much you’ve learned through this process of healing.
Maintaining the Connection
Healing doesn’t end with one ritual—it’s an ongoing process of nurturing and self-care. To continue healing your inner child:
Spend time in nature, allowing the earth to ground you.
Engage in creative activities that bring joy.
Practice self-care and set boundaries that honor your needs.
Keep your altar as a reminder of the love and care you are cultivating.
Write in your journal as a self-reflection tool.
Healing your inner child is a profound and transformative journey. Through sacred rituals of release and reconnection, you create space to honor, nurture, and heal the child within—offering them the love and compassion they have always deserved.
This journey is deeply personal, and there’s no one-size-fits-all path. Be gentle with yourself. Every step forward is an act of self-love, and you are worthy of the peace and wholeness that await you.
If you’re ready to deepen your healing and gain clarity on your soul’s path, I’m here to guide you. Through personalized astrology readings, we’ll explore the cosmic blueprint of your soul, uncover patterns that shape your inner child wounds, and illuminate the path to healing and self-discovery.
✨ Book an astrology reading today and step into a deeper understanding of yourself. Let’s align your energy, nurture your spirit, and reclaim your inner light. 💫
